So, you’ve finally not only parked but moved your entire crew away from the car in a group, excluding the moment you had to go back for the polo raver to make him stop spraying himself and rejoin the group. You’ve EVEN gotten as far as the venue and made it to the back of the line. CONGRATULATION! The first of three vital steps of entering the rave is complete. Your next step is easy-peasy and fun… WAITING IN LINE!
Now let’s talk Rave-Math a moment. We all know that by definition Rave Math is any arithmatic used by a raver to determine timing or finances between the time they leave until they arrive back to their home; and it ALWAYS fails in some way; by definition Rave Math may only yield incorrect answers. Now let’s DO some rave math, concerning how much time we left ourselves to get there early to guarantee entree into the rave. Let’s assume this is a standard, regional 1000-2000 size party and you’ve traveled two hours. Because there was no internet to buy tickets in advance you have to arrive before EVERY SINGLE PERSON beyond the number allowed by capacity… if there’s room for 2000 and numbers 1998-2000 show up just before you, YOU DON’T GET IN!!! Knowing the capacity of the room and the length of the drive you don’t want to make for nothing you will do one of two things with as a result of Rave Math; you will either arrive twice as early as you needed to or arrive 50% later than the last person who is allowed entry, sorry, you can’t adjust for this, no one can. It’s just a truth.
Sometimes if you were too late you’d be allowed to wait for someone to go home and take their place in the room but many times you were just sent back to your car for another exciting drive with the crew. That in mind my crew always figured we needed to arrive 2 hours early to be sure to get in, which means (more Rave Math results) we showed up 1 hour before the party with a line of maybe 100-500 in front of us. PHEW, we made it. And THAT was the moment the party started, even if you didn’t realize it. Because, despite the lack of tunes, the social aspect of rave life was in full action in that line and you’d meet and get to know a lot of people out there every weekend. And then there the ones you didn’t have to meet to know…. you knew them by site and you met one of each at least in every line.
THESE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN A 90’s RAVE LINE:
1. The Guy with the Worst Rave Math. He showed up 4 hours in advance. He was there so early he actually helped move some speakers and had a chance to use the bathroom before he was sent back outside to the line. He’s in a really good mood because he’s finally not bored now that people are arriving. The Guy with the Worst Rave Math is always alone, if he rolled with a crew they would have fucked his plans and cost him two hours ironically partially correcting his math.
2. The Guy Who Gets To the Front of the Line By Claiming to be On the Guest List. Yah, remember that guy? Here’s the thing… why did NONE of us realize then that he didn’t have to be up at the front because he could cut into his OWN LINE when doors opened. The real guest list people were working the line, promoting, or showing up hours later because their spot was reserved… THIS GUY? He was scamming us and we never knew it.
3. THE Candy Raver. Not A candy raver, but THE Candy Raver, so enthusiastic that he started handing out candy and toys before the doors even opened. He’d walk up and down the line introducing himself giving out treats and getting to know EVERYONE. Even the hardcore kids liked THIS candy raver, how could you not.
4. The Overzealous Promoter. This kid (me) didn’t want to wait til the end of the party to do her promoting because she wanted to do more than just hand you a flyer.. she wanted to talk about the event she was promoting, maybe play a little of a mix on a walkman by some of the dj’s playing (swear I’ve done it). Force you to select between eating a gross pickle and taking a flyers (swear I’ve done it). Anything for the party!
5. The Kid With Happy Feet. The moment sound-check starts inside everyone would start a little shoulder bob, but Happy Feet, would start a full on dance. And not stop when the music did… all the time in line, through the doors, through security and the register, and the whole party. And the after party, and the whole car ride home. Everyone loved Happy Feet, but no one wanted to drive him home cuz man could that get tiring to watch,
6. The Crew Who Sucked At Rave Math the Other Way… these guys show up so late that even if they arrive before doors, they’re not getting in the first wave of people. So, they are scanning the venue and security figuring out how to sneak in. Half of ’em will pull it off too.
7. The Girl who Has To Pee Real Bad. Nuff said.
I know I’m missing some but my memory is going flat here… who else would you meet in line for a mid 90’s rave? Comment with your favorite line-folk!